Magic Blender
by zigguratank
Summary: Have you ever wondered about all those odd things in YGO? like Kaiba's Gravity Defying trenchcoat? and Alister's tank top? well it all started with a magic blender...
1. How it all started

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh.

A/N:yawns and stretches: yea! A new story! I'm always excited at the beginning but at the end I'm relieved and sad…well hope you like it! And those of you who read First Kisses…ALISTER CAME TO VISIT AGAIN!

Alister: do ya have to shout it out for everyone to hear? What if…she…came back?

zT: Who? LeDiva? YEAH! SHE'S COMING BACK!

Alister: NOOOOO! NOT THE TWO OF YOU AGAIN!

LeDiva:(glomps Alister) ALISTER!

Alister: oof…

zT: I bet you missed us Alister!

Alister: you bet...(sarcasm)

LeDiva: I missed you too Alister!

Alister: On with the story? I want to see how much damage you caused this time…

zT: if you insist…bwahahahahahahahaha!

* * *

**Magic Blender**

This is the story that will explain all those odd things in Yugioh. When I say odd, it means clothing, hairstyles, actions and all those weird personalities of some of the characters. Did you know that everything started with a magic blender? Let's go back to the beginning to where the magic blender was made…

When the first blender ever came out…(around 1933?)

"At Whir-Whir Inc. we sell the finest kitchen supplies in all the land! Our newest product is called The Blender! Say it with me! Bleh-en-DUHR!" Timmy Whir-Whir, the boss of Whir-Whir Inc., shouted.

"What does it do?" asked a lady.

"Well, it does all kinds of tricks! The Bleh-en-DUHR can chop vegetables in a minute."

"OOOOOOOOOhhhh" awed the crowd.

"It can mash potatoes in a minute."

"AAAAAAAAAhhhh"

"And you can create delicious smoothies using any sort of food you want!"

"WHOA!" the crowd shouted. But then they turned to ask each other what a smoothie was. So Timmy Whir-Whir finished his advertising and went back into the factory where he whipped all the poor workers to death to speed up the production of the Blenders. A witch came to the front door of his company the next day and applied for a job. She had seen what awful things Timmy Whir-Whir had done to the poor workers so she decided to teach him a lesson. The witch was appointed to the check-and-see-if-the-bleh-en-DUHR-works station. The witch went over to the station and began checking the blenders out. It was a pale yellow color with seven red buttons that said BLEND, MIX, PUREE, GRIND, LIQUIFY, WHIP and CHOP. There were three blue buttons at the bottom that said MEDIUM, LOW, and HIGH. Today the witch only investigated the production. Tomorrow, she'd start working her magic!

Unfortunately the next day, the police came to arrest her because they found out she was a witch and Timmy Whir-Whir didn't like witches. The witch lady screamed terrible words at Timmy and before she left she cast one big powerful spell under her breath at the closest finished blender. Then she went to the asylum, turned evil and died later that night. The spell that was cast wasn't an evil spell; it was a spell that would let her live in the blender for eternity if she was ever killed. Timmy Whir-Whir threw the bewitched blender away into a trash dump where it was never seen again until a hobo came and fished it out of the garbage. The hobo polished it up and sold it to a rich man who just happened to be Raphael's grandfather. Raphael's grandpa was so amazed at this technology that he just had to have it. So he bought it and took it home.

* * *

A few years later, Raphael's grandpa passed away and the blender was inherited by Raphael's dad. His dad didn't want it so he quickly gave it to Raphael who was only a little baby. Raphael's mother decided it was too dangerous for the baby to have it so she took it.

One day, while Raphael's mom was using the blender to make a protein shake Raphael, who was sitting next to the blender, decided to take a look at what was in there. There were vegetables, some powder stuff, soymilk, and…PILLS? Raphael tried reaching inside to save his mommy from the pills but the blender magically got bigger and he fell in. When his mom came back she pressed a button. Don't worry she only had it on low stir. She didn't notice how big the blender how grown. Raphael was in the blender struggling to get away from the spinners. Then he had a plan.

"I guess I have to eat my way out of here!" So that's what he did. Raphael devoured all the ingredients of the protein shake. Even the pills. When he finished, his mother finally found him in the blender.

"MY BABY!" she cried. She saw that he had eaten the protein shake and took him to the doctor's office immediately. Later they found out that Raphael would survive because the pills were only protein pills, but when he grew up he would have a lot of muscles because the pills also acted like steroids. Raphael grew up, got separated from his family during the wreck, and joined Doma. It was true that he had big muscles like the doctor said, but he also had a big heart because he loved to bake and cook and care for his new friends. And through all those harsh times, he had the magic blender with him to keep those precious memories of his mother.

If you think that's the end then you're wrong. This is only the beginning! While living with Alister and Valon he let the two use his magic blender. And one day Alister decided to make something in his room with the blender…

Tune in next time to find out how Alister got a hold of the groovy tank top!

* * *

zT: you like? You like?

Alister: WHAT! Don't you **_dare_** tell people what happened with me and that stupid blender!

zT: but I must!

Alister: NO! I'll duct tape your mouth shut!

zT: but I have to type it!

Alister: AAAAAHHH! Then I'll cut off your hands so you can never type again!

zT: whimper

Alister: And I'll also cut off your feet so you can't use them either!

_LeDiva comes in and knocks Alister out with a metal baseball bat._

zT; YOU SAVED ME LEDIVA! (hug)

LeDiva: now you can write about Alister! Don't worry if he gets out of hand! I'll deal with him! (pulls on rope)


	2. Fashion makeover

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh or Green Day or any of the stores used in this story.

zT: sorry for the really long update…I had a lot of work to do…I didn't even finish most of it…TT now it's time to find out what happened between Alister and the Magic Blender!

Alister: (muffled scream)

LeDiva: (tightens rope used to tie Alister down) Don't worry I got him!

Allister's War Weapon comes in…

AWW: hello…

zT: NEW MEMBER OF THE UNOFFICIAL FAN CLUB! (everybody glomps Allister's War Weapon)

Fifilafemme also comes in…

Fifilafemme: hi! (she got promoted and glomped too XD)

While everybody was glomping the two newcomers Alister wiggled himself to the control panel and pressed the delete button to try to delete this chapter.

Alister: MWAHAHAHAHAHA! NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!

zT: DID YOU PRESS THE DELETE BUTTON?

Alister: yes I did and I'm proud of it! (smirk)

LeDiva: Whew! That's good. When building the control panel, two buttons malfunctioned and switched control. So the "Read Story" button is the delete button…and vice versa for the delete button.

zT: THAT MEANS IT'S TIME TO READ THE STORY!

Alister: WHAT HAVE I DONE? noooooooooo

* * *

**Magic Blender and Alister**

So you remember where we left off right? Alister took the Magic Blender to his room to do an experiment. A dirty experiment.

"Yes! I can finally have the pear and corn mush recipe that my great-great-great-twice-removed-uncle-married on my mom's side of the family used to make to get stronger! Raphael won't be the only strong one here! Mwahahahahahaha!" Alister set the magic blender on the floor and went to the kitchen to gather the materials.

OK, IMPORTANT FACT HERE: before the Magic blender did it's magic today, Alister was a normal guy who wore normal CLOTHES. No tank tops, belly shirts, trench coat, bras etc. I mean NORMAL shirts, normal jeans, normal belts, normal jackets, normal sneakers and even normal underwear! I went a little too far there. So now you know the truth. WAIT, let me add one slight little detail: he only had one shirt, one pair of jeans, one belt, and one jacket. Don't worry, he washed his only pair of underwear every night.

Alister was wearing his shirt with the Green Day insignia on it. It was his favorite and only shirt. He also wore his comfortable jeans, his Nike sneakers and his navy blue windbreaker. After gathering the ingredients, he returned to his room and began checking the supplies.

"Pears, corn, garlic, ginger, white pepper, a raw egg, croutons, leeks, and beer! I got it all." Alister was just about to dump everything in until he realized that the Magic Blender wasn't plugged in. His room was really small, so he could just reach over the blender to the wall socket. When reaching over part of his shirt fell into the blender. As soon as the plug hit electricity, the Magic Blender started up and started churning.

"NOOOOO! My shirt!" Alister frantically pressed the off button but the blender kept going, he unplugged it, but it was still sucking up his shirt.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! EVIL BLENDER! EVIL BLENDER!" After his shirt had been torn up into millions of tiny pieces the magic blender started for his jeans. Alister played tug-a-war with the blender but the blender won. After that, he fainted letting the blender suck up his remaining garments.

In a couple of hours, Alister woke up finding himself sitting in torn up underwear. Around him were tiny bits of cloth that once wear his jeans, jacket, and shirt.

"WHY? Why am I so unlucky?" he sobbed picking up the bits and trying to piece them together again. Alister decided that he needed to get new clothes before he continued with the experiment. He wrapped a towel around his waist and headed off the mall.

"hmmm, I need some pants first. I can't walk around in a towel all day." Alister stopped at a punk looking store and went inside. There he found soft, black leather, capri pants. He bought them along with a six packs of black cotton underwear with the name "Green Day" embroidered on the back.

"Now I need a shirt." Alister visited all the shops in search for a decent Green Day shirt. He found one at Hot Topic but it was too big. Instead of buying the shirt at Hot Topic, he bought a rockin trench coat! He went to another shop and found black and red biker boots that fit him. At 5:00 pm Alister still had no sign of a cool Green Day shirt. He was hopeless.

"I have to keep trying!" He glanced up at the store in front of him and saw something. It was a lavender tank top displayed on a manikin.

"Hey, that's kinda cool." With his mind only focused on the tank top, he didn't notice that he was walking into Limited Too. Alister didn't notice that the store was all hot pink with girl's clothing, or that the dressing room he was in when he was trying on the tank top had pink bras hanging off the hooks. All that was on his mind was that this tank was cool. Alister looked in the mirror at himself. The tank top was kind of tight and he was a little too tall so it showed his stomach. But all that did was make Alister think it was cooler. He took it off and bought 7 of them so he could wear one everyday of the week.

"Um dude? You do realize that this is Limited Too right? " the cashier asked Alister. It finally hit him.

"I knew that! I was just…uhhh…" Alister glanced nervously around the room looking for an excuse. He saw Yugi looking at the pile of tank tops and grabbed him.

"Let go of me you creep!" Yugi said trying to wiggle out of Alister's grasp.

"Shut up! I was just buying these for my sister!"

"Hey! I'm not your sister! Let me go!"

"Shut up Yugilina! Heh heh, we're always fighting but deep down we love each other!" Yugi finally understood what Alister what trying to pull off.

"Yeah! I forced my brother to buy me these shirts! Buy three more!" Alister was forced to buy 3 pink tank tops but in the end he got what he came for. E other tank tanks he bought were for Yugi as a thank you gift. Yugi and Alister came out of Limited Too and were greeted by Joey and Tristan.

"Hey Yugi! Where were you?"

"I'm not Yugi! I'm Yugilina! Queen of Games!" and Tristan and Joey quickly drove him to the hospital.

When Alister got home he showed Dartz, Raphael and Valon his new outfit. Dartz just waved him away, and Valon started teasing him.

"I saw that exact same tank top at Limited Too!" Raphael stated. Alister started spazzing.

"I didn't go to Limited too! heh heh, I went to…HOT TOPIC! Yeah, they have the coolest stuff. I even saw Fruits Basket T-shirts! And an FMA sweatshirt. And…"

"Wrong anime Alister." Dartz interrupted.

"Right. I'm going to my room now…" After he that he made his mush with another blender, threw it up, and found that he had some muscles that made him look like he had boobs the next day.

After Alister's extreme fashion makeover, Valon had always teased him about his tank top. Then one day he needed to use the Magic Blender for something…

* * *

zT: hahahahahahaha! Wasn't that shocking?

Alister: my secret….my secret….it's been revealed…(Alister bursts into tears)

zT and LeDiva: it's okay Alister! People were going to learn one day.

Yugi comes in: I AM YUGILINA QUEEN OF GAMES! ALL SHALL FEAR ME!

Alister: SHUT UP YUGI!

Yugi: MY NAME IS YUGILINA!

Doctor: Yugilina, it's time to come back.

Yugi: never! I will NEVER join the dark side you evil person!

Doctor; we have cookies!

Yugi: Until next time odd people!

Doctor: I'm sorry. He got out of the straightjacket.

zT, LeDiva and Alister: Oo


End file.
